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Psalm 38

1] O Heavenly Queen, never do you anger:
    but your heart burns with passionate fire
2] For what have you cast upon me,
    much longing and much absence of that for which I long,
        much favour and disfavour,
    that I be blessed not so that others may be blessed,
        yet even I blessed in turn:
    all this with which you have struck me,
        all this you have sunk deeply into my soul:
    your power and your will presses down upon me as a heavy weight
3] You passionately long for beauties
    that are purchased only by the suffering of my flesh:
        I hope for your favour of healing,
    yet as yet you have bestowed it not upon me:
        and my innards are restless
        as I think of the errors you have willed I commit
4] In these my errors have I nearly drowned:
    as a heavy burden, pushing me down beneath the waves of fate,
        therefore at times do I even say,
            that no longer can I swim
5] Great is the stench of my festering wounds;
    through my foolishness I have been inflicted with them
6] Great are my troubles by which I am bowed down:
    as mourning fills the whole of my days
7] For a loathsome disease inflames my loins;
    I search my soul for goodness, yet it has eluded me
8] Feeble and sorely broken am I:
    turmoil fills my heart, which is the cause of my roaring
9] O Heavenly Queen, before you are all my desires;
    and naught is hid from you, not even my most abject groaning:
        whatever I do is known perfectly to you,
        for perfectly do you remember you yourself so doing
10] My strength abandons me as the anguish of longing conturbs my heart:
    as from my eyes the fire of passion has faded
11]  Thus has your will struck me,
    that my lovers and my friends stand aloof
        from the grave longings of my heart;
    even those who are of one blood with me
        you have cast far from me in spirit
12] The servants of the enmity have laid snares for us,
    those who seek our blood to spill upon their wicked altars,
        as the false and lying prophets command
        in the false and lying scriptures they have authored:
    they utter false accusations as a pretence to spill innocent blood;
        all day long do they imagine ways to injure
            those who love the beautiful and the good
13] Yet as one who was deaf,
    I heard not the vileness of the words they are ever speaking;
        as one who was mute,
            I opened not my mouth to condemn their wickedness
14] Thus was I as one who hears not,
    and from whose mouth all defence of the good was absent
15] But then, unto you, O Maratrea, did I entrust my hopes:
    without doubt do you hear my every cry, O Heavenly Queen my Goddess
16] This do I declare, that without doubt you hear my every prayer,
    and my prayer for the triumph of your Cause
        you will without doubt in due time answer:
    those who now rejoice over us shall find an end to their rejoicing:
        when we fall down,
            they declare themselves to be greater than us,
        but they shall fall further than ever have we fallen
17] Therefore I will fear not their instruments of torture,
    for from them will you deliver me;
        ever before my mind are the sorrows
            that the wicked have inflicted upon us,
    yet certain is my faith that you will deliver us from them
18] Never may I hesitate to admit
    the imperfections of my service unto her Cause
        unto which I am vowed;
    but in whichever ways I may be imperfect,
        may I be anxious to reach closer unto perfection
19] Alas, alas, the enmity to your Cause endures;
    it is fortified against us,
        and even now continues in its multiplication;
        and great is its hatred for us,
            for which it has no good cause
20] They repay good with evil,
    and condemn us that we love the truly beautiful
21] Never will you forsake me, O Maratrea:
    O my Goddess, never will you be far from me,
        O you who are as near to me as my very own self
22] Without doubt will you hasten to help us,
    O my Heavenly Queen, the certainty of my salvation